i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
