You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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