Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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