he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
