you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
