Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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