Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We need to get me chipped asap
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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