New invention idea: vibrating tampons
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
