You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
