I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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