yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
