It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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