U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
