How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
