Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
