what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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