It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
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