SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
