I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
