OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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