Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize