need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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