His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
