My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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