Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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