my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I supernannyed him into submission
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
