She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I think people are normalizing furries
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
