Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
