I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize