Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
high people should be assigned attendants
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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