I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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