Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
