Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
