Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize