I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
