We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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