she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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