I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
