i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
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