This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
True strength comes from lack of pants
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
