Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
