I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
