we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
