I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
