I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
