if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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