I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
