their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
