Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
