She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Panties = found
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
