Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
