i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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