let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize