Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
