I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My vagina just recognized that song.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
