I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
