just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
