i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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