You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
