he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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