somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
